I was on NPR's FAith Game with Faith Saile last night but....

On Monday afternoon, I was invited to tape what was billed as a "Valentine's Day Segment" for the edgy, new NPR radio show "Fair Game" with host, Faith Salie. I didn't really have a lot of time to prepare, but I was told that all I had to do was answer some questions about relationships.

Since I've been writing about relationships for years and years, and love to be a guest on radio shows, how could I resist?

So, even though it was bitterly cold and I was busy, I paid a visit to the "studio" of Gideon Evans to tape my segment. Before the taping began, I told Gideon that I was aware Fair Game is heavy on political satire and commentary. I'd asked on the phone, but again, I asked if my segment was going to be a serious one, and if not, how did he need me to play it? I asked, because I had a sneaking suspicion that I wasn't getting the entire story and that's just the way Fair Game wanted it. Gideon had been a producer on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart. The host, Faith Salie, wasn't there and wasn't going to interview me, but she has a thing for erudiate but oddball guests who do not indulge in "everyday" subjects I focus on, mainly life, love and career.

When Gideon assured me that all he wanted was for me to reply to the questions about relationship that he was going to ask, just as I normally would, in a straightforward, professional manner, I agreed to do the show. Actually, I thought his questions were thought-provoking and intelligent, as were my answers. We talked about differences in politics, what advice I might give politicians who want to date, and so forth. Gideon was charming. He said I was, too. The experience was actually, fun.

But it wasn't so much fun when I listened to the show last night. I didn't expect my entire interview (about 20 minutes) to be on the air, but what was on the show reminded me of how easily you can be maniupulated by the media. If you listen to Wednesdays show or download the podcast at precisely 22.30 minutes into the 50-minute+ show Black Holes, Neuroscience, and Michael Jackson you will hear a segment tucked into a discourse about the unlikely "love match" between Senator Joe Lieberman and President George W. Bush. In that tiny segment, my voice appears with one sound byte of my serious and sound advice (meant for romantic couples, of course). I am introduced only as "Advice Sister Alison" (hey guys, my legal name is Alison Blackman aka " Advice Sister Alison" .....couldn't you have at least used my real name?). I'm quoted as saying that anything couples do behind closed doors is their own business ...and there's something about ritual animal slaughter as well. My advice would have been witty and pithy in a relationship-oriented sense, but to hear it coyly attributed in a discussion about Joe and George, was at the very least, disconcerting. I guess I should look on the bright side. I had fun taping the show and every taping is good experience for the next time. And, at least the producers used one of my quotes (in an obviously innocently-silly context). No politicians, animals or an Advice Sisters were harmed in the process. But still, if I'd just been told the truth in the first place I could have decided not to participate, or to be my own, wacky self, my own way.

As to George and Joe, if you or you staff listened to the show last night, I had NOTHING to do with it (wan smile)

Happy Valentine's Day

It's Valentine's Day. Perhaps no other holiday in the entire American culture is fraught with so much emotion, both positive and negative. It starts when you are a kid in school, where the popular kids got more of those cheesy little valentine's than the other kids, and the feeling that, perhaps, you will be "left out" never quite leaves most people.

No one is really sure how Valentine's Day began, but we know it has roots back in Roman Times, so I guess a lot of people have been disappointed or delighted on February 14th. If you are with someone, you wonder if s/he is going to "forget" about the holiday, leaving you without a card, chocolates, or something better. If you are not with someone, the chances are that even if it is by choice, that feeling you got back in school (see above) will hit at some hour of the day...maybe lots of hours, actually.

Although I have a thoughtful husband who sent me two dozen roses on Monday (so I'd be able to enjoy them longer...) and a card, today, I think that V-day is really more than just telling your romantic partner that you love them (although 14K and flowers always works it's magic on me, ha, ha. In the best of all worlds, you would tell the people that you love them every day, and they would affirm the same for you. In the real, and busy world we live in, V-day should be about love, but not just the romantic kind. Let's all take take a moment, really take a moment, to tell those we love how much we appreciate them.

This morning one of the first things I did was to call my 87 1/2-year old father, who sometimes doesn't even remember my name anymore. I got him on the phone and I told him he had been a great dad, and that I loved him. I am not sure he remembered what Valentine's Day was, but there was no mistaking the joy in his voice when I told him how much I appreciate him in my life, and how great it is that he is still here. And, I hugged my cats and gave them treats (I seriously doubt that telling them I love them in words could be accomplished any better than giving them cat yummies). I emailed my friends, and my called my brother-in-law, who doubtless, is feeling the loss yet another year gone by, of my twin sister, Advice Sister Jessica. I emailed cheesy cards to friends, especially those I know have no family and no romantic partners to share with.

I am lucky in love, but not everyone is. If you are reading this and you're feeling lonely, sad, or dissapointed this Valentine's Day, try to take a moment to reach out to the people who support you, or just make you smile. They'll appreciate it, and you'll feel better, too. V-day is just 24 hours and then it's over. Love should be there, every day.

Gustavo Arango-Mercedes Benz Fashion Week Fall 2007

I was really excited to attend the Gustavo Arango show at the Altman Building Saturday afternoon, February 3rd, because I was invited backstage and one of my faves, AVEDA, was doing the hair and the makeup on this show. The backstage area at the Altman building is really spacious compared to the tents, and it was easy to spot and interview Rudy Miles, AVEDA Global Face Color Artist, and others from the Aveda Makeup Team.

Gustavo Arango designs glam clothes for glamorous women, especially Latina woman, so the look for this show was inspired by Hollywood glamour of the 1920's, but not quite as controlled or "done" (check out the model in the photo, below):

The makeup for this show was completely modern, dressed up, but, as Rudy Miles put it, "still whimsical." I called it diva with a slightly "dirty-girl" attitude. A polished, finished face and, like the strong eyes at Alice Roi and Alexander Herchcovitch, Rudy Miles made the focal point the eyes. He ringed them completely in a slightly metallic, deep, smoked blue called "Blue Bell." This color will be available from AVEDA for Fall, 2007. The deep, blue eye look really went well with the soft evening gowns and subdued colors for Fall from Gustavo Arango's collection. To finish the look, Rudy applied a lip liner all over the model's lips, first, and then applied a berry gloss that gave the lips what I like to call a "moistly-matte" look. It's matte, but not that old-fashioned dry that we are used to seeing with matte products. The cheeks were burgundy and berry, but applied in a new way: arched around the forehead and to the cheeks, instead of up from the apples. "It's all about color and technique," explained Rudy. And, as many other makeup artists have always advised me to pass on to you, my readers, this is only makeup. You can always remove it if you don't like the way it looks...so don't be afraid to experiment! Rudy Miles is shown below, holding some new "Petal Essence Accents" eye/blush trios for Fall, 2007 . Rudy said he used to be a teen model (and he's still not only photogenic, but very charming!).

I also spoke to Jon Reyman and his AVEDA hair team. Since the inspiration was the 1920's pin curls and finger waves that define that era's Hollywood glam style, the model's hair was set in pin curls and then loosely pinned in the back to produce a modern, Raphaelite-styled bob. This stunning look was romantic and youthful, but not too "set" in place. The models really did look angelic, walking down the runway. I don't have a list of all the products used but I will get it and add the details to my photo-essay feature, soon (check the Advice Sisters FEATURES page http://www.advicesisters.net/Features/Features.html in the coming weeks for all the latest Fashion Week and advicesisters content). ). I do know tow of the products used were Air Control, an environmentally-friendly hair spray, and Pure Abundance Hair Potion to add texture and volume to a model's hair if she needed it. Jon also explained that AVEDA was being much more selective in the number of shows they were doing this Fashion Week season. The reason? Aveda puts their proverbial money where there mouths are. They will only work with designers that are in sync with AVEDA's earth-friendly mission and philosophy: http://www.aveda.com/customerservice/ourmission.tmpl

The makeup artists and hair stylists are working on a short time frame on lots of models at the same time. They have to answer the same, endless questions over and over again. Even so, to a person, all of the backstage teams have been gracious and responsive to me as a writer and reporter. The AVEDA staff in particular were so nice to be around! They seemed to be enjoying their jobs, and their colleagues (special thanks to makeup artist TERRY whose husband was also backstage, on the "hair" team). I didn't interview the team from Pritti Organix Nail Salon, but they did the manicures.

Gustavo Arango came by to talk to Jon for a moment. I was too tongue-tied to introduce myself, but the designer, outwardly very calm, said he hadn't slept much the night before the show (I can just imagine!). He needn't have worried since the collection, although body conscious, was beautiful and quite wearable, even for non-models. Mr. Arango, born in Colombia and raised in Puerto Rico, studied in New York at F.I.T., subsequently working as a fashion designer for Pierre Balmain and then launching his own collection. An interesting but sad note is that the designer's apartment was destroyed during the terrorist attack on the World Trade Center on September 11th. He moved back to Puerto Rico. His collection now is inspired by the exotic beauty of Puerto Rico, and the urban chic of New York. The clothes moved with the body, especially the evening gowns in chiffon and silk charmeuse that were accented with beads in many cases. One I particularly liked was a slate silk charmeuse gown with lizard straps. Shoes were high, high, and higher, from Beverly Feldman and La Favorita. I don't know what the fashionistas will say about the collection, but my personal opinion is that Gustavo Arango designs to make every woman look beautiful, no matter what her age or features.

Check out my "how to do the look" with AVEDA products (coming soon on the advice sisters web site linked from our FEATURES page http://www.advicesisters.net/Features/Features.html

my Day of Beauty at Warren Tricomi Salon

When I was born, my hair was a bright orange that turned light blonde. As a child, it was strawberry blonde, with coppery strands that glinted like fire in the sun. It was so unusual that my mother sometimes asked me if I "did something" to it to make it that color. I didn't. My hair might be frizzy, curly and sometimes, uncooperative, but it always was a beautiful color.

Nothing lasts forever. When a few strands of silver started to clash with the copper, I freaked! I ran to a swanky (and expensive) salon, thinking I'd whisk away the greys with a few highlights. Alas, the colorist and I were apparently speaking different languages, and when I left, I had dark red hair! I had to admit it was a change (and change is good), but not that good--I hated it! Worse, I quickly learned that you get a "skunk line" down the middle of your head the minute the color starts to fade and your hair starts to grow. I couldn't afford the time, money and effort to keep touching it up and I longed for my own, nautural color back.

A friend (whose blonde hair I always thought was completely natural) came to the rescue with another salon that was the direct opposite of swanky (you change in the bathroom and put your things on a hook along with the stylist's lunch and shopping), but the colorist was personable, and she listened to what my needs were instead of imposing her vision. Best of all, the neighborhood was fun to visit--almost like being in another city entirely. She managed to get my hair somewhat back to "normal" between blonde, and red.

But nothing lasts forever. Too much hair dye over too long a period of time made my hair dry and brassy. Worse, it was splotchy. I waited as long as I could stand it, and when it was not only brassy, but faded, I'd had enough....and that's how I ended up at the Warren Tricomi salon on 57th Street in Manhattan.

I admit I was nervous. The salon is pricey and in the high-rent district off 5th avenye, a far cry from the low-key operation I'd been visiting. But my hair was really a mess, and Fashion Week is coming. I figured I wouldn't look any worse, and with luck, I'd look a lot better.

I felt a bit better being greeted at the door by an outgoing, stylish man named Paul who called me by name (nice touch). He directed to change (not in a bathroom but in a dressing room with beautiful, silk, maroon drapes) and to take a seat. I wasn't seated more than just a couple of minutes when colorist Simone's Assistant greeted me and brought me a glass of ice water (there is a complete "bar" at Warren Tricomi which is a nice touch if you are going to be there a while). Simone introduced herself and was very businesslike. I know that the salon is frequented by socialites, celebrities, and high-profile regulars. The thought was a bit intimidating, so I let it drop that we were both in the "beauty biz" but in different part of it. "Well, then I'd better do a good job," Simone gently joked.

I won't bore you with all the conversation, but Simone (very gently) informed me of something I already knew but didn't want to face: that as you age your hair color and perhaps, even the tone of your skin, changes. Some people go grey, some get darker. In my case, I didn't have much grey, but my strawberry blonde hair was not the same color anymore (is there anything really good about aging?). In any case, Simone suggested that I make my hair lighter without any red.

Red has always been my trademark....I wondered whether I should trust this virtual stranger. But Warren Tricomi is known for amazing makeovers (I've seen them do their magic on tv shows) and of course, they work their magic on models for designers at Fashion Week. The salon uses Redken and Wella products, and also has it's own line of signature products as well (I will be reviewing some of them in the next couple of What Works Beauty, Cosmetics & Fashion review columns). Looking around the large salon with it's slightly "Moroccan" and very chic vibe, and assessing the other patrons (who were not at all strange-looking), mostly expensively dressed and attractive, I decided to go with Simone's professional opinion. After, all, I am someone who writes abuot beauty and fashion, who is a certified image consultant, and who is known for giving advice about life and career to others--but when it comes to myself...well, let's just say I can be as myopic as the next person.

In a flash, Simone foiled, mixed, brushed on, and applied color to fix the blotches and turn my straw back into gold. A treatment that I think is one of the new, Warren Tricomi product lines made it soft and shiny. My hair was transformed into a beautiful shade of something that might have been closer to the way it was when I was a child...not blonde, not red...unique..and I got the few, subtle highlights I longed for when I first started this hair-color journey! Before I knew it I also had an amazing cut by Emiliano (adorable to look at and talented as well) that made my hair straight, swingy and stylish.

I walked down the street with attitude...and the salespeople at Bergdorf's were very attentive (they usually totally ignore me). Even the check-out lady at the market seemed a bit friendlier! They say money can't buy happiness...but it CAN buy great hair!

It has been a while since I've looked in the mirror and loved what I see. Now, I do.

A New Year, New Start, News-The Advice Sisters

If you read this blog regularly, you know that there hasn't been much activity on it during the last few weeks of 2006...but that doesn't mean that I've been sitting on my you-know-what, doing nothing. Definitely not! Aside from providing personal advice to private clients by email, I've been adding new advice content to The Advice Sisters Great Relationships Web Site. I will continue to add new things regularly as 2007 unfolds, so please visit the FEATURES PAGE often to see what's new including the latest What Works Beauty, Cosmetics & Fashion Review Columns, "Double-Take" Q&A, Articles,"Ask Alison-Managing Your Life and Career Columns" contests, Advice Sisters' news, and more!

In December, I was the subject of the latest"Hook Me Up" video show on Yahoo! Tech. You can see my episode: "Dear Alison, Help Me Podcast" at: http://tech.yahoo.com/se . This is your chance to see that there really is an "Advice Sister" behind this computer screen! In this episode, "Emergency Makeover Technician" Byron Este literally brings holiday "cheer" to my life by bringing me the essentials of podcasting. Please watch. You will probably need an updated Windows Media Player or Real Player to get the show (some of my fans and friends with older computers and dial-up may have some trouble...if that happens Contact Me and we will do our best to help you view the video!

Later in December, I was invited to the inagural celebration and first official voyage of Norwegian Cruise Line's Norwegian Pearl. The 93,530-ton, 2,384-passenger ship isNorwegian Cruise Line’s newest Jewel-class ship, and quite a beautiful and impressive one at that. Popular talk show host and Emmy award-winner Rosie O'Donnell was appointed the ships' Godmother (every ship has one to name her, and they are usually women of note). The Norwegian Pearl’s slogan is: "Simply Irresistible" and that she is! I'll be posting more information about the Norwegian Pearl, shortly.

FYI: The Devil (and YOU) Wear Prada Contest is Now Closed: The Devil (and You) Wear Prada Contest ended December 31, 2006. We are in the process of reviewing hundreds of awesome entries, and will let you know who the winner are shortly. Five people will receive more than $1,000 worth of ultra-luxe products including some of the beauty products and colors used by makeup artists in the film: The Devil Wears Prada, from Benefit, Dior, and Z. Bigatti. If you missed this contest, Subscribe to our free, bi-monthly Enews and our Advice Sisters Forums , and be among the first to learn about our next contest!

I have added the first Advice Sisters® "Double-Take" Wedding Q&A that I've written since Advice Sister Jessica died. Check it out on http://www.advicesisters.net/ I'll soon be adding the first "What Works" Beauty, Cosmetics & Fashion Review Column of 2007. It will be a double-issue featuring the latest skin and body-care products, and romantic gifts (Valentine's Day is coming) to make the start of 2007, beautiful and beat the Winter Blues. The What Works Archives" has literally thousands of reviews and links to beauty and fashion-related items you may have missed over the years.

Also in December, I also posted a new article -- one that I hope will help make our world just a little nicer. If you got a cell phone, MP3 player, or another electronic device during the holidays you must read The Advice Sisters Etiquette for Portable Devices It will give you the lowdown on using these little wonders without driving everyone around you, crazy!

My sister, Jessica Blackman Freedman, aka. "Advice Sister Jessica," loved New Years, as did I. Each year we would make plans for a full-packed celebration weekend, filled with love, happiness, and optimism for the future. After her death, I realized that I couldn't re-create this feeling with anyone else ever again, but I am trying to create new traditions. This year, as I've done the past few years, I celebrated the New Year quietly with my husband and some dear friends. Alas, my 16+ year old cat (*we adopted her 14 years ago and she was at least 2 then), was sick and possibly, dying. On New Years day my husband and I rushed home from our festivities to spend the better part of the day in an emergency room where we discovered our beloved cat had a ruptured anal duct. The cat is miserable, but hanging in there.

One of my new years resolutions (one that I intend to do my best to honor) is to look at the bright side of whatever life hands me. As songester Burl Ives used to say: "watch the donut, not the hole." I figure if we started the year off with something this disgusting, the rest of the year has got to be an improvement. I hope your New Years has started off better than mine, and keeps on the upswing! love, success & happiness to you all Alison Blackman Dunham aka. "Advice Sister Alison"