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Question: Should I Accept Professional Services For Free?
Dear Alison: I have been a freelancer for nearly a decade, but now I'd like to switch gears. I've been going to career fairs and networking events to figure out what career I might pursue next. At a recent event, I met a man who said he was a professional career coach. We got to talking and he gave me his card. To my suprise, he also offered (without my asking) to be my personal coach, for free! This is great, because my budget is tight and now I can save the money I would have spent on personal coaching, on something else. I visited his web site and that was pretty impressive, but he is charging others quite a bit for his advice and now I'm wondering why he's offering his professional services to me without charge. I called and arranged a first session anyway, but I'm wondering whether I should go through with it. What do you think?
| Alison
Answers: What do I think? I think
that you should be very wary. You don't always get what you pay for in life, but you always pay for what you get! To be sure, there are some very generous people in the world, who will always lend a hand to someone in need. However, I am not sure why a person claiming to be a professional coach (and who charges others for his services) offered them to you for free without your asking for help. In the words of my very wise Grandmother: "something doesn't add up." I don't mean to suggest that this man has sinister intent, but even you realize that this man who is a stranger to you has little motivation to make such a generous (and open-ended) offer. Although you didn't go into detail about your career situation, I suppose if it's very unique, it might be just the kind of case study that your proposed coach would love to write about in a book or article. However, if that's the case, he should have make it clear up front that personal information from your meetings could be used in ways you don't control. I really don't think that your supposed coach plans to exploit your personal information in this way, but before you start talking about personal things, make sure you know the score. Ask how confidential your sessions will be. If you don't like the answer, don't work with him. Another warning bell I'm hearing is that you didn't actually ask for his help... did you? True professionals aren't so eager to offer their paid services for free to virtual strangers that they meet at career fairs. In reality, they can't afford to give their services all away. Your supposedly free sessions are not "free" at all. The cost is coming out of your counselor's pocket as a donation. How much do you really know about your proposed counselor? Could it be that your he has a sophisticated web site, but , in reality, is just a beginner....and you're going to be a test subject????? As you know if you read my ASK ALISON columns regularly, or if you visit The Advice Sisters® Web Site, I also offer personal counseling and coaching While I have donated free advice, on occasion, I counsel people not just because I love it (I do love it) but also because it's my job. It is how I help pay the bills. I'm great at what I do, and I charge accordingly for my professional services. I must admit, I am constantly amazed at how many people ask me to counsel them without charge. "Do you really have to pay for advice?" they will ask. My answer is: "Yes, if you want high-quality, effective, advice from ME, a professional advisor... you do!" My point is - few true professionals would eagerly volunteer to give their expertise away. Consider too, that while supposedly free counseling may be easy on your wallet, it might not get you to the place you want to be. In life, you have to make choices. If you think the money you could be spending on counseling would be better spent on a new interview outfit or the electric bill, that's one thing. However, if you believe that a personal coach is the answer to your career dilemma and that s/he can help you quickly and more easily move you to success, you should be willing to pay for the best you can get. If you selected this particular person to help you just because he's free, you might be sabotaging your own success in the long run. Perhaps another expert is possibly better matched to your needs, even if you had to pay for those services. |
If you are accepting the advice
of a volunteer professional, you can't afford to abuse this special relationship! If
you do decide to pursue this coaching agreement, sit down with your proposed
coach and, at your first session, iron out all the details. Make it clear that you
are not as interested in the free sessions as you are in quickly, effectively and joyfully
reaching your career goals. Tell him that while you appreciate his incredibly
generous offer to assist you, it's important for you to set limits on his
time. Together, set a deadline for reaching your goals with his
"coaching." If, after that time, you haven't reached your goals, it's time
to either quit working with this counselor, or start paying him whatever his regular
rate is until you get where you want to be. This shows your counselor that you value
and respect his services, you are invested in the coaching process, and you will take his
advice seriously. It also puts him on notice that you are aware of his
incredible "largesse" and you aren't going to take advantage of it for a long
period of time. Finally, regardless of whether or not you choose to accept free services from this man, don't forget to say "thank you" for any services you are given. You are being given a special gift when someone assists you and this deserves appreciation in return. No one likes it when they feel that someone is taking them for granted. Sincere "thanks" shows you care and have good manners. My suggestion is to thank this person verbally, in-person, every time you meet. When you have ended the sessions, it would be nice to send a personal gift (rare wines, theater tickets, and other luxury items are good choices) at a value commensurate with approximately what his rate would have been for all of those sessions. A nice touch would be to add a letter, outlining all the ways that he has helped you reach your goals. Praise is the best gift of all! NOTE: this reader's question really reminded me of that fact that most of us are so busy getting things done, that we often forget to say "thank you" to the ones who support us. Make it a practice to show appreciation to those around you. Send a clipping or a recipe from the newspaper to someone you think will like it with a quick note. Write to someone whose work has inspired you and let him or her know what a difference they've made in your life. Never forget birthdays and anniversaries. Grab your kids away from the television and eat a meal together as a family, or play a board game, or go to the movies. Take your special someone out to dinner tonight (or bring home one perfect rose) to let them know how special they are to you. Little gestures like this make us all more connected. It's worth the effort.
BEST WISHES TO EVERYONE FOR A NEW YEAR FILLED WITH LOVE, SUCCESS & HAPPINESS! - ALISON BLACKMAN DUNHAM
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